Wednesday, February 28, 2024

IELTS Band 7 Essay Samples


These are IELTS band 7 essay samples which were given grades (of seven or 7.5) and primary feedback on the rating for every standards by an skilled IELTS teacher. 


Matter: Migration to Cities (Band 7)

Younger persons are leaving their properties in rural areas to work or research in cities. 

What are the explanations?

Do the benefits of this growth outweigh the drawbacks?

The comparability of requirements of the cities and small city or villages has been at all times a debate. Just lately, youngsters select to dwell within the cities somewhat than their residence villages due to faculty or job alternatives. This essay will focus on a number of causes behind this pattern and clarify why the benefits of being in a metropolis do certainly outweigh its drawbacks.

There are a number of causes to need dwelling in city areas. Firstly, it provides individuals a chance to review in higher colleges which can’t be present in rural areas. Since within the fashionable world schooling means very a lot for individuals’s future, it’s essential to have increased schooling levels for these people to search out well-paid jobs. Along with that, metropolis life supplies individuals with fully totally different experiences than their residence villages. Because of the faculties, work or social gathering locations, they get to satisfy a higher variety of individuals from throughout the nation in comparison with their rural cities which is essential for one’s private growth. Lastly, within the cities, not solely they get larger variety of job choices, but additionally they’ll earn bigger amount of cash. It is rather properly know that job market is considerably restricted within the villages additionally the present jobs barely pay sufficient.

It’s clearly seen that advantages of leaving villages outweigh its few variety of deficits. It’s price to say that folks face some points, comparable to being away from their prolonged household, extra aggressive and difficult job market, and considerably costlier dwelling price, after they transfer to the cities. Benefits like studying and exploring new experiences, getting a greater schooling resulting in a greater paid job and having an attention-grabbing profession, nevertheless, surpass the variety of the drawbacks of this growth.

To conclude, there are numerous causes for younger technology to depart their properties to dwell within the cities and this motion’s advantages simply outweigh its disadvantages.

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Process Response: 7

The query is answered and concepts are supported. The advantages have been mentioned in physique paragraph one – the drawbacks would have to be given a bit extra dialogue within the second physique paragraph in an effort to obtain 8 or 9. As the query clearly signifies that there are drawbacks, these ought to be given sufficient consideration. 

Coherence & Cohesion: 7

This IELTS band 7 essay pattern is well-organised with a mixture of transition alerts and a few good use of referencing and substitution. Barely too many transitions in preliminary place in physique paragraph one.

Lexical Useful resource: 7

There’s a good mixture of related subject associated vocabulary of fairly excessive stage and a very good consciousness of collocation. Extra unusual phrases and phrases could be wanted for a band 8.

Grammatical Vary and Accuracy: 7

Good vary and mixture of advanced sentences and types, although some grammar errors are evident, notably within the latter a part of the essay.


Matter: Lack of Leisure Time (Band 7.5)

In some international locations younger individuals have little leisure time and are beneath quite a lot of strain to work arduous on their research.

What do you assume are the causes of this?

What options are you able to recommend?

There isn’t a doubt that having some leisure time throughout finding out reenergizes the mind to proceed working effectively. Nonetheless, college students in some international locations are beneath excessive strain to review arduous and due to this fact, they’ve minimal leisure time. The attainable causes for this pattern in addition to recommended options will likely be mentioned in particulars.

One attainable motive for college students to face quite a lot of strain to work arduous on their schooling with no time without work could be the excessive price of schooling. As an example, costly programs put a monetary burden on households and college students which forces the scholars to strive arduous to finish these programs efficiently and rapidly. Because of this, these college students ignore the necessity for some spare time and give attention to their research work. One other attainable motive could be the quantity of research supplies which is changing into in depth for a brief semester. Consequently, this strain leaves no selection for college students besides to review as arduous as attainable to have the ability to end this materials on time. Thus, it’s apparent that these college students don’t have any time left to have some leisure actions.

Nonetheless, some options could possibly be recommended to assist clear up this downside. One attainable resolution could be decreasing the price of instructional programs in these international locations by authorities fundings. By doing this, each the scholars and their households would have much less monetary strain and due to this fact the scholars could possibly be much less burdened throughout their research which could allow them to have some free time. One other resolution could be research teams, if college students research in teams, then every one of many group members might summarize a part of the curriculum and shares it with the remainder of the group. This is able to save quite a lot of time for the entire college students within the group and consequently the quantity of strain could be lowered. These strategies might assist the scholars to have some leisure time which is vital for them to remain centered.

In conclusion, there are various causes that put the scholars in some international locations beneath stress and strain to review arduous and depart them no time for leisure actions, nevertheless, the above recommended options might deal with this downside and permit the scholars to have some research free time which is crucial for them to recharge their vitality.

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Process Response: 8

It’s an excellent essay that’s clearly organised and solutions the query. It presents a well-developed response to the query with related, prolonged and supported concepts.

Coherence & Cohesion: 8

Concepts and data are sequenced logically within the IELTS band 7 essay pattern; all features of cohesion are well-managed; paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately. 

Lexical Useful resource: 7

Although there’s good use of vocabulary and just a few errors, there’s not sufficient proof of skillfull use of unusual lexical objects to benefit an 8.

Grammatical Vary and Accuracy: 8

Makes use of a variety of constructions; the vast majority of sentences are error-free; makes solely very occasional errors or inappropriacies.


Matter: Harmful Sports activities (Band 7)

Giant numbers of individuals take part in sports activities which are extraordinarily harmful.

Why do you assume individuals do that?

How can the dangers of participation be minimised?

At present many video games are being performed everywhere in the world. A few of them are extraordinarily dangerous and life threatening. Regardless of of those info their reputation is rising and many individuals are taking part in such video games on an expert stage. This essay will establish the explanation why persons are taking part in such life threatening video games and supply some sensible approaches to reduce the chance related to these video games.

To start with we have to discover out the rationale why such harmful video games have gotten so fashionable. To start out with, the foremost attraction for gamers is sweet cash that could possibly be earned from a single recreation in simply in the future. Any such fast cash will increase stimulation amongst many gamers to undertake video games comparable to boxing, wrestling, bull using and so forth. Maybe, fame and recognition is one other compelling motive that encourages individuals to decide on sure video games. Moreover, its confirmed that it’s human nature to simply accept challenges and do issues otherwise. Many gamers love to simply accept challenges they usually need to astonish the world by their distinctive expertise and expertise.

As these video games at the moment are being launched on this planet and many individuals are becoming a member of them it is very important cut back dangers by introducing some insurance policies and procedures. As an example, anybody who desires to take part specifically video games wouldn’t be allowed to play it till he/she deemed hundred per cent competence in required expertise and data. Secondly, it is very important endorse top quality private safety gear and coaching to fight threat related to video games.

In conclusion, glorious stage of insurance policies, procedures and coaching are integral a part of treating the dangers related to such video games.

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Process Response: 7

All components of the duty are coated on this IELTS band 7 essay pattern, a transparent place is offered. Some foremost concepts are a bit generalised and would have to be extra particular to succeed in an 8.

Coherence & Cohesion: 7

Essay is logical with a transparent development. A variety of cohesive units are used. Every paragraph has a transparent central thought. Some extra refined cohesive units could be wanted for an 8.

Lexical Useful resource: 7

Adequate vary of vocab and a few much less widespread vocab used, however some errors in phrase selection / formation stop a band 8.

Grammatical Vary and Accuracy: 7

The IELTS band 7 essay pattern general has superb grammar, however there’s an error in fairly a couple of of the sentences. Most are fairly minor however a few very noticeable and the candidates have to take care with this to keep away from a drop to a 6.


Matter: Studying & Writing Abilities (Band 7)

Some individuals assume that the rising use of computer systems and cell phones for communication has a adverse impact on younger individuals’s studying and writing expertise.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It’s typically stated that the Web’s creation within the nineteenth made simpler the way in which through which individuals might study, work and research. The usage of computer systems and cell phones was seen at first as a democratization of data, tradition, and books. Nonetheless, I feel that this major ideology was completely improper following the unwanted effects and trajectory and use of those units. Certainly. I do assume that computer systems and cell phones for communication have a adverse impact on individuals’s studying and writing expertise, particularly for younger individuals. 

First, younger individuals have been raised with mobiles and computer systems. The issue is that a lot of the content material shared on computer systems and cell telephones, particularly due to the usage of social, are movies, pictures, and emoticons. For instance, to get knowledgeable of the information, individuals used to speak with others, write letters to individuals who had been knowledgeable of the scenario, or learn newspapers earlier than the Web was created.  At present, most -if not all younger persons are being knowledgeable by watching movies on the Web and socials. Because of this, we will attest that younger persons are getting used to a digital world manufactured from movies and pictures. 

However not solely are newspapers involved, but additionally every kind of knowledge. Certainly, when younger individuals, particularly college students, wanted to search out info for a faculty undertaking they had been confronted with what quite a lot of younger persons are “reluctant to” at present: opening a ebook, an encyclopedia. Certainly, many younger persons are being disinterested in books as computer systems and mobiles are making on-web analysis simpler and sooner. Younger persons are, consequently, studying much less and hoping to search out rapidly a bit of knowledge as a substitute of studying a complete article about it. For instance, who reads a complete ebook a few nation to speak with somebody from one other nation after they can simply discover a brief article concerning the tradition they’re attempting to know higher? 

Nonetheless, writing expertise are additionally strictly broken by computer systems and mobiles. As a result of we’re extra related to individuals because of computer systems and mobiles, we improve the method of speaking with everybody, in every single place, the quickest as it may be. Earlier than, because of the usage of letters, individuals had time to consider what they might write and the way they want their textual content to be completely spelled and properly written. Not solely letters but additionally cellphone calls would assist individuals develop their writing expertise as you would not use abbreviations and slang as individuals do day by day by texting.  A single image-a yellow face known as a smiley- can exchange dozens of phrases if no more. Persons are creating slang, picture, movies, and GIF language as a substitute of writing what they really feel, assume, and need to say in a textual content. 

Additionally,  vocal messages turn out to be a risk to studying and writing as these two expertise have gotten ineffective in computer systems and cell communication. As well as, making a know-how by way of which customers of those units are enabled to dictate a sentence that the cell will write in a textual content makes individuals much more unskilled in writing and studying. 

To conclude, the outstanding use of mobiles and computer systems for communication has quite a few adverse results on younger individuals’s writing and studying expertise. Certainly, it retains them away from studying and particularly writing due to vocal messages and the creation of slang. Communication turns into a means for individuals to inform what they need to say with out desirous about what they’re writing and saying. 

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Process Response: 8

Usually an excellent reply with plenty of assist. I feel it could be higher with out this: 

“Additionally,  vocal messages turn out to be a risk to studying and writing as these two expertise have gotten ineffective in computer systems and cell communication. As well as, making a know-how by way of which customers of those units are enabled to dictate a sentence that the cell will write in a textual content makes individuals much more unskilled in writing and studying”. 

You do not clarify what you imply about vocal messages. It is not likely clear what the general foremost thought of this paragraph is.

Coherence & Cohesion: 6

It is a disgrace as this might have been an 8, however you might have this errors in physique para 3 – “Nonetheless”. That is an extra adverse thought, not contrasting info. For 7 and up there could be over/underuse of CC however there should not be errors in use. An examiner may maybe overlook it and offer you 7.

Additionally as I stated that final physique paragraph isn’t nice for CC.

Lexical Useful resource: 8

Largely superb grammar however there are errors – an instance:

  • use of social – ought to be ‘social media’

Grammatical Vary and Accuracy: 7

Largely superb grammar however there are errors – some examples:

  • newspapers involved – newspapers cannot be ‘involved’, undecided what you imply right here.
  • are being disinterested – ought to be “are disinterested”.
  • Certainly. I do (comma, not full cease)

Matter: Job Satisfaction (Band 7.5)

Contemplating that adults spend a lot of their lives at work, having job satisfaction is extraordinarily vital.

What components contribute to job satisfaction?

How sensible is the expectation of job satisfaction for all staff?

On this essay, I’ll state two foremost components that contribute to job satisfaction, specifically success and adaptability, and discover attainable explanation why job satisfaction, though actually an goal for a lot of, can’t be achieved by all.

Although many corporations promote their staff as glad and content material, it’s simple that this can’t at all times be the case. Few individuals would imagine a supervisor saying that their manufacturing unit employees are glad. I imagine this has lots to do with the components that decide job satisfaction. As an example, usually, to ensure that somebody to be glad at their job there should be one thing for them to achieve, be it a private or shared aim. The manufacturing unit instance works completely: individuals working in a manufacturing unit hardly discover a goal in what they’re doing totally different to producing a secure month-to-month earnings.

Flexibility is a second aspect to be considered. What is supposed by this isn’t versatile working hours, although these can actually assist too, however somewhat an opportunity to do and work on totally different duties or initiatives and possibly even a chance to scale them. This permits for a use of various expertise, or an area to study them, and fixed new stimuli. Sadly, many roles don’t provide this type of alternative, leading to repetitive and compelled labour and energy.

In conclusion, there are various concepts to be developed when speaking about components influencing job satisfaction, comparable to flexibility and success, and if some jobs provide each, the overwhelming majority gives neither, which makes it unattainable for each worker to expertise satisfaction at their jobs.

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Process Response: 7

Practically an 8 however I feel a bit extra element and clarification could possibly be given to among the concepts and maybe a couple of extra concepts of assist. As an example extra could possibly be defined about why or what jobs don’t have flexibility. A band 8 or 9 additionally is probably going to have the ability to write a bit extra.

Coherence & Cohesion: 8

It’s properly organised and all features of cohesion are managed properly.

Lexical Useful resource: 8

Usually superb use of vocabulary with few errors.

Grammatical Vary and Accuracy: 7

You have got good grammar right here however I feel in sure locations it might present a bit extra sophistication/complexity. As an example, I confirmed you above the place a posh pronoun could be higher as with out this the sentences look a bit uneven and brief. And this sentence sound a bit awkward with two ‘ands’: “leading to repetitive and compelled labour and energy.”


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